Thursday, May 17, 2012

Missionary or Not? Here I come.


What makes a missionary?
Before, I thought it had a lot to do with location. 
Missionaries were people who lived outside of the United States and got money to “do mission work” Which usually included Bible studies and teaching people to sing “Jesus Loves Me” in a foreign language. And being really close with God-this part was important because missionaries often had to ask God to stop floods and send food so that they could do their Bible studies. 
I switched locations and was called a missionary but found I lived in Mabaruma, Region 1, Guyana with the same set of weaknesses and strengths that I left home with. All I did to gain the title of “missionary” was ask people for some money, take some time out of school, and switch locations from home to here. Big picture, that is easy to do. 
And when I got here I realized, wonder of wonders, that Jesus did not make the rest of the world so that people like me would have someplace to go and “do mission work”. Most people spend a lot of time living here without knowing they are living in “the mission field”. I have come to believe that the important part about being a “missionary” is not the location, it is the following of Jesus. And in reality, once one decides to follow Jesus, living here and following Jesus is just as difficult (or easy depending on how you look at it) as living at home and following Jesus there. 
Sometimes Jesus guides us to new locations, but those are not the point. 
We already have a name for a person who follows Jesus.
A Christian. 
And so the term “missionary”, while useful in some contexts, is unnecessary in others. Being a “Christian” in whatever context and location one is found should preclude using the term “missionary”. And so I am a Christian, someone who is following (or at least giving her best shot at following) Jesus, and I live here.
In Mabaruma, Region One, Guyana.
But calling Christians “missionaries” does give a little more attention to an important aspect of being a Christian. Namely, being on a mission. And if I am following Jesus on a “mission” it behooves me to ask “what is Jesus’s mission?” (Big Question) and then “what is my mission?” (small question). “What is Jesus’s mission?” is a big, beautiful question. When He came to earth did He come to show a picture of what God is like? Draw all people to Him? Seek and save the lost? Put words into flesh and blood? The answer is “yes”. Show love? Show servitude? yes yes yes. Wonderful, multifaceted mission that books have been written on. For my part, I believe that Jesus is big into the leveling of ground. Because in the garden, the ground was level. Adam and Eve walked and talked with God. God walked and talked with Adam and Eve (Gen 2:15-23). Then splits and fractures entered in and blood soaked ground cried out to God (Gen 3-4:10). Banishment, pain, separation, and floods happen with some people IN the Ark and others very much OUT of the Ark (Gen 4:10-7:16). The ground was physically torn up, only illustrating the soul condition of the people living on it. Families grew up, split, and so on and so forth (see the Old Testament). And then, eventually, we get to Jesus. Who lived on broken, torn ground, but preached the gospel of level ground through grace and love. Love you neighbor as you love your self. Level. Do good to those who hurt you. Seek to level. “I am the way, and anyone who follows me...” Level. Talk to Samaritan women, eat with tax collectors, set the record straight for poor women who are giving all they have. Then die on a cross to offer grace to thieves, beggars, pedophiles, and people like me. A part of the answer to the Big Question of Jesus’s mission is level ground for all. But what of the answer to the small question? How do I follow Jesus in my place?
Because here, like most places, is rather broken. But here, the brokenness is sometimes more blatant. There are lots of people who can not read. There are lots of people who are sick. And there are lots of people who are hurting and abused. Women are not always valued and children are not always cherished for little other reason than that they were born here. But I can read. And I have an education and parents who love me. And I did nothing to earn those parents or to be born into a culture of affluence. I am so wealthy for little other reason then I was born there. It is easy for me to feel superior sometimes when I see signs written incorrectly or hear Creole (which is not “proper” English) or listen to people discuss ideas that I find irrelevant or wrong in the light of my education. Because I don’t believe that eating bitter food will lower my blood sugar, nor do I stress about “wetting up me skin” when it is raining. A baby sleeping with his or her little head conked over on one side is not a cause of concern to me. But I have nothing to boast of, nothing to be proud of. I have done little to gain my wealth, just as they have done little to gain their poverty. I am not called to perpetuate broken thinking in a broken world.
In my following of Jesus in this place of uneven ground, I’ve been trying to think about the Great Equalizer. I have been thinking about mission in this place of uneven ground and I keep running into it. Love.  As I begin to run into love I can not help but keep looking for an perfect, tangible example until I bump into the foot of the cross. And at the foot of the cross everything is level, every person is equal. How can I kid myself into thinking I am portraying Jesus to them if I do not live loving them equally and without expecting anything in return? 
So my “missionary” activities of “benevolently” giving out things and “educating” by saying cold turkey, “here, your way of doing that is insufficient, I have a better way to do that” really doesn’t hold much water. It is rather rude and does not reflect level ground. 
Jesus does not love me more because I was born in America, nor to I have a VIP pass to the fountain of grace. 
I can read, and teach, and “share out” because I, for some reason, have been born into a country of excess. I have enough. Having enough, it is easy to feel great about giving stuff or advice, or even just turning up my nose at those less educated or intelligent than I am. But if I do that I have really done a disservice to myself and to the people. More than a disservice, if I only think of them as “people less fortunate than myself” and as vessels to fill with my superior knowledge and piety then I have failed. 
If I do that, I have missed the mark, because that doesn’t level the ground, that is just continuing to work on ground that is not level. 
People in the United States (me)-scary thought-are not going to be saved because they have an academic knowledge of Jesus. They are not going to be saved because they can tell you the history of Christianity and know that their hands should be washed.  Our knowledge credits us nothing because the ground is level. 
I have come to believe that Christian work, mission work, is first about living. Not first about preaching and not first about teaching. Not first about giving out stuff. Those things may come as a consequence of living following Jesus. Jesus does not call us all to be preachers or even teachers. But I think he does call us all to live on level ground. To not belittle those around us because fate handed them a life different than our own. To bask in the beauty of grace and invite others to share in the glow.
In closing, I haven’t got living in Mabaruma (or anywhere) as a Christian nailed. But I claim in my heart to serve a big God who is big into the leveling of ground. I honestly claim it and honestly strive to live it out. As a “missionary” I haven’t done many Bible studies, nor have I been called upon to stop any floods. But I have wrestled with living and loving levelly in places of broken ground. For the last 8 months, the location has been Mabaruma, Region 1, Guyana. Soon, Lord willing, it will be Paradise, California. The location doesn’t matter. Following Jesus does. And that is makes me a Christian and that is what makes me a missionary.

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